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The A-Team of Haiku Bastards
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All Members , Moderated
Credit here goes to Dave Jennings, the original Haiku Bastard.
Feel their hostility

My cigar inspires
Stupid yuppies to die from
Cancer of the jaw

I am also that
Battlestar Galactica
Frappucino Guy

I pitied the fool
Who waxed poetic while blind
To the Rising Sun

Am I howling mad
For trying to save the world
By blowing things up?

These four patriot fugitives have offered us both a fresh voice and a fresh perspective on poetic form and content. The rage and the passion has gone out of our musings, leaving us to pathetic whinings and sticking our heads into ovens until prostate/breast cancer fucks us up but good. We need to let our inner beast emerge and let the anger come into full bloom. The only problem is that those shaking with rage tend to be a pretty taciturn bunch, so epic poems are probably out of the question. Haiku seems an excellent alternative. Even those firmly in the grip of their own fury can manage 17 syllables.

When I attempted my own haiku, my pen touched the paper and the words came as if from a channeled spirit, I felt myself taking dictation from a profoundly upset samurai on angel dust who ceased giving a rat's ass about losing face.

This is what I wrote:

Fuck William Shakespeare
Sonnet-spouting sack of shit
Let's go kick his ass!

I was elated. Never before or since have I penned truer words. I immediately got up from my desk and marched into my boss' office. With my fist raised in defiance, I shouted the haiku over and over until the police finally came and took me away.

Now it's your turn. Time to break free of your outdated meter and rhyme schemes and time to start making history with 17 rapid-fire blasts of unfettered spleen.
Here are the rules:

  • The haiku will have 3 lines
  • Line 1 will have 5 syllables
  • Line 2 will have 7 syllables
  • Line 3 will have 5 syllables

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